My friend was over today and we had breakfast together – look at me!
A couple of months ago breakfast was a nightmare and I’d eat 3-4 hrs after waking up, now I’m eating within an hour of waking up.
While my friend was over she was getting me to help her make a meal plan to gain weight. Right, yes, I know. I wanted to slap her too. Talking about food and weight loss is so triggering for me and I then spent the past 2hrs looking at weight loss videos and Its now lunch time.
And It’s so hard to eat. I was going to just settle for a pudding cup and an orange, but I know that’s not going to help me towards recovery.
Lunch was supposed to be the same as yesterday – 1 egg and 1 egg white, 40cal cheese, 2 pieces of salami, 4 mushrooms and spinach. But now I’m scared that if I eat I’ll throw up, because I really want to throw up. Fuck.
I don’t know if I should try and eat something and risk purging or just eat my pudding cup?
*P.S – I know it’s Ramadan but its that time of the month, ya know.
Humble and Hoping 